Part 1 (Plan): finding our 'why' so we can survive the journey
- Vimal Fernandez
- Mar 11
- 3 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
Disclosure: I’m not a financial advisor. This isn’t financial advice — just what worked for our family. Your financial journey is yours to chart.
You start asking ‘why’ real quick when your kid frisbees their dinner plate across the room. 🍽️💥😂
After our first child, we immediately felt work pulling us away from time with our 6-week-old baby. Sound familiar? That’s when my wife raised a wild idea: 'How do we stop working—like, waaay before 65?' That question kicked off our decade-long journey to Financial Independence (FI), and most recently, early retirement. Looking back, I remember our very first step: finding our 'why' to retire early.
In Atomic Habits, I stumbled on this in the appendix (yes, I read the appendix): “with a big enough 'why' you can overcome any 'how'.” Mailed it! Before we set sail for early retirement, we needed to find our 'why'. Without a solid 'why', we woulda likely fallen off the boat before our destination. We took the time to define a big enough ‘why’ such that nothing could knock us off that goddamn boat. Ok, enough boat talk—let's dive in.
Finding our 'why' to retire early
Simon Sinek’s Start with Why gave us a good framework:
Start with the feeling, not the outcome: We found that our 'why' isn’t about the what (e.g., “retire early”) or the 'how' (e.g., “save money”). It’s about the emotion driving it. We asked: If we don’t have to work 50 hours a week, how would we feel and then, what would we do? For us, it’s the joy of spending more time with our kids and seeing them grow, while not having them in daycare 40 hours/week.
Make it bigger than you: Sinek says our 'why' is about how we impact others, not just personal wins. We asked: How does this lift our family? Retiring early meant showing our kids the world through long-term travel, and freeing my wife to chase a dream she's shelved. It’s not just my win—it's theirs too.
Look backward to move forward: We reflected on our past—what moments made us feel freaking amazing? Sinek pushed us to find patterns. Did we light up when we explored 4 national parks in 6 days or joined a 45-day traveling village in Europe? We asked: What do we do on vacations or weekends—now, what if that was my everyday? Our 'why' included those sparks.
Here’s what we did
Understood the challenge: Families who retire early, like before they’re 50, save 50%+ of their income. Hard? Yup. Worth it? Hell ya, IF we have a big enough 'why' to get us there.
Defined our ‘why’: Not some fluffy dream—real stuff, big stuff, like leaving the stress of work and relaxing on a beach in Phuket while your kids learn practical skills at a half-day, free-range, alternative school. That’s what makes up our 'why'. It's gotta be big to carry us through the long, hard sacrifice of getting to FI.
What's in the balance?
A parent gets 18 summers with their kids before they’re "adults"; likely only 10 where they actually wanna chill with you. FI with the option to retire early allows us to extend those summers (no more begging for PTO!) and make the most of them.
Our thought: we won’t regret it, we can always go back to work when the kids are in college and they’re “too cool” for us.
We share our 'why' here. Go, find your 'why' and post them in the comments!
This post is part of our 'journey to early retirement' series, sharing our path to Financial Independence (FI) and early retirement with kids.
AI epilogue
I'm trying something new here where I'll attempt to show you how you can leverage AI to do this. Here we go with Grok.
Prompt:
"I'm trying to find my 'why' as I start my journey to early retirement. I'm referencing this blog post: https://www.therebelroadmap.com/post/retire-early-how-to-find-your-why. My 'why' must be big enough to get me through some hard, tough times. Can you ask me questions to help me find my 'why'?"
Now, go brainstorm with Grok:
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